Tim Box is a therapist, author, and anxiety expert. Tim is a hypnotherapist and a specialist in mind management. He helps people regain control of how they think, feel, and behave. In his youth, he suffered from debilitating levels of social anxiety.
For the past 10 years, Tim has spent most of his time helping people understand and manage their anxiety responses. In the process, he has found that most people struggling with anxiety have completely misunderstood how to approach this issue.
In his TED & Talks presentation, which has garnered nearly 3 million views, Tim explains why we need to think differently about anxiety, why current support methods often make the problem worse, and how a very simple shift in how we view our emotional responses can free us from an anxiety diagnosis and significantly reduce our worries.
Here is a summary of Tim’s talk:
Hello, I am Tim Box, and today I want to share something with you: I feel anxious. I worry about whether I’ll remember everything I want to say. I worry about whether you’ll agree with what I share. and just a few seconds ago, i was even scared that i might trip on this carpet as i walked onto the stage.
These anxieties, though seemingly bothersome, are actually understandable. That’s because it’s important to me to convey my message clearly, to be heard, and not to embarrass myself.
When anxiety gets out of control
There was a time in my life when anxiety made it impossible for me to walk into a crowded room, let alone stand up in front of people and speak. but that has changed. Today, I still feel anxiety, but I no longer let it control me.
In the past, I made the mistake of trying to eliminate anxiety. I did everything I could to avoid situations that made me tense. If the feeling of anxiety arose, I would flee or distract myself, deluding myself into thinking that would keep me safe.
But the truth is: you cannot get rid of anxiety by trying to eliminate it.
Anxiety is not the enemy
Nowadays, in my work, I help many people understand and overcome their anxiety. Through thousands of conversations with people struggling with anxiety, I’ve found one common desire: they just want to get rid of this feeling entirely.
But imagine a world without anxiety. The truth is, anxiety helps us recognize what is important and requires our attention. without it, perhaps you wouldn’t have come here today, and i would be speaking in an empty room.
Anxiety reminds us to focus on meaningful things. However, the problem arises when anxiety levels become too high and prolonged, dominating and defining our lives.
Anxiety is not a disorder
One of the biggest mistakes today is treating anxiety as a disorder. This leads us to easily turn to medication or doctors to seek a “cure.” but the truth is: anxiety is not an illness. It is a natural, necessary emotion.
This emotion helps us react to significant things in life. rather than trying to “fix” it, we need to learn to listen to and understand it.
Three steps to transform anxiety
To overcome anxiety, I have done three main things:
- Refuse to believe that anxiety is a disorder. I stopped worrying about feeling anxious and began to understand that this emotion always has a specific cause.
- Listen to myself. Instead of ignoring or suppressing it, I learned to listen to the messages my mind wanted to convey. When you ignore it, anxiety will only scream louder to get your attention.
- Learn to collaborate with anxiety. I realized that anxiety is not the enemy. It is simply a part of myself trying to protect myself.
If we think of the mind as a ship, anxiety is the crew, always trying to steer the ship toward safety and happiness. However, sometimes the crew makes mistakes, relying on old experiences that no longer apply.
Rather than treating anxiety as the enemy, understand that it is merely trying to protect you. Learning to listen to and work with this emotion will help you steer your ship through stormy seas.
Thus, anxiety is not something to fear or eliminate. It is an essential part of life that helps us focus on what truly matters. What we need to do is not to remove it but to learn to live with it positively and proactively.
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