We often talk about physical strength and physical health, but we spend less time focusing on mental strength and mental health. The truth is, everyone has the ability to build mental strength, but most people don’t know how.
Amy Morin, a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist, shared her insights in a TED Talk that has garnered over 24 million views. In her talk, Amy explained that we can choose to practice exercises that help us learn to regulate our thoughts, manage our emotions, and behave productively regardless of circumstances – the three fundamental components of mental strength. Whatever your goals may be, building mental strength is key to achieving your greatest potential.
Below is a summary of her key points from the talk. To view the full video, click here.
Do you ever feel stuck in negative thoughts?
Imagine you have a Facebook friend whose life seems perfect. They live in a beautiful house, have an enviable career, and their family is always traveling to exciting places. The photos they share are stunning, filled with joy and seemingly taken by a professional photographer. They often post about how grateful and lucky they are for their life.
Sounds familiar? And maybe, sometimes, you find yourself disliking them just a little. It’s hard to avoid, but these thoughts are quietly eroding your mental strength.
Harmful thinking habits that hurt us
We often think that envy, complaining, or blaming are harmless. But research shows that feeling envious of others, like on Facebook, can lead to depression. Such negative thinking habits not only weaken our minds but also prevent us from growing.
There are three common types of unhealthy beliefs that drain our mental strength:
1. Unhealthy beliefs about yourself
We often pity ourselves when faced with difficulties. Instead of focusing on finding solutions, we get lost in self-pity, thinking, “Why does this always happen to me?” or “I don’t deserve this.”
Self-pity only keeps you stuck in the problem rather than moving forward. Remember, while there may not always be a perfect solution, you can always do something to improve your life or the lives of others.
2. Unhealthy beliefs about others
We often believe others control our lives or are the source of our problems. For example, “My mother-in-law drives me crazy!” or “My boss forces me to work overtime.”
The truth is, you always have a choice in how to respond. You don’t have to “endure” others; you can choose to live your life actively and freely.
3. Unhealthy beliefs about the world
Many people think that if they work hard, the world will “reward” them. But the reality is, life isn’t fair. You won’t always get what you deserve just because you’ve worked hard. However, this also means you are not defined by the hardships you’ve endured.
Lessons from a painful journey
My personal story taught me that to become mentally strong, you not only need to build good habits but also let go of bad ones. After losing my mother and husband in a short period, I faced overwhelming grief. But instead of drowning in sorrow, I learned to overcome it by eliminating negative thoughts and focusing on what I could control.
For instance, I once worked with a diabetic patient who had given up on managing his health because he believed he could never improve. But with just one small change – switching from regular Pepsi to Diet Pepsi – he saw significant improvement. That small change built his belief that he could take control of his life.
Start with one small step
Mental strength is like physical strength. You need to practice good habits and give up bad ones. Ask yourself:
- What thinking habits are holding me back?
- Am I pitying myself, blaming others, or expecting the world to treat me fairly?
- Most importantly: What small step can I take today to start making a change?
Start with one small change. That’s how you build mental strength to overcome any challenge in life.
More about Amy Morin:
Amy Morin is a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist. Since 2002, she has counseled children, teens, and adults. She also works as an adjunct psychology instructor.
Amy’s expertise in mental strength has gained international attention. Her bestselling book, 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, has been translated into more than 20 languages.
Her advice has been featured in numerous media outlets, including Time, Fast Company, Good Housekeeping, Business Insider, Elle, Cosmopolitan, Success, Glamour, Oprah.com, TheBlaze TV, and Fox News. She has also been a guest on dozens of radio shows.
Amy is a regular contributor to Forbes, Inc., and Psychology Today. She serves as a parenting expert and teen discipline expert for About.com.
As a frequent keynote speaker, Amy enjoys sharing the latest research on resilience and the best strategies for overcoming adversity and building mental muscle.
