Suppressing anger is perhaps one of the hardest things you can do. But if you know how to control it, you can master your emotions to avoid the consequences of emotional outbursts.
Understanding the Brain Chemicals That Trigger Emotional Reactions
When you go through an emotional conflict, chemicals flood your brain, driving extreme reactions and impulsive behaviors. If you want to control your emotions, you need to wait for that wave of chemicals to subside before acting.
A simple tip is to close your eyes and count to five. In those five seconds, the chemicals in your brain will slow down enough for you to gain clarity about your situation. It may sound simple, but those five seconds can save you from years of impulsive actions and regret.
Explore the Roots of Your Reactions
When you feel intense emotions boiling within you, try to seek the cause of the problem. In other words, ask yourself why you feel that way.
If you feel impulsively angry about something someone said, ask yourself why their comment triggered such a strong emotional reaction. This habit immediately shifts your perspective, forcing you to step back and analyze your feelings from an outside view. This puts you in a position of emotional control and reveals what is really causing your pain.
Silence and Extend Resentment
Many of us have the bad habit of wallowing in feelings of anger or resentment. Suppose you have an argument with a friend. Both of you leave feeling hurt and uncomfortable, but instead of expressing those feelings and seeking a resolution, you let your anger simmer and grow. Over time, you may even lose track of why you were angry in the first place. The longer you wait to address these feelings, the harder it becomes to make them disappear. This applies to many other negative emotions, such as sadness or shame. Ignoring these feelings can lead to prolonged emotional turmoil, so speak up and address your emotions before it’s too late.
Name Your Emotions
We often struggle to control our emotions because we don’t really know what we’re feeling. All we recognize is a messy cloud of thoughts and feelings. Our emotions become vague and uncomfortable, so we seek immediate relief instead of understanding what’s going wrong.
In such situations, try naming your emotions. As soon as you feel something boiling inside, ask yourself: “What am I feeling? Am I angry or sad? Impatient or ashamed?” When you label your emotions, they become smaller, simpler, and easier to understand.
Manage Your Stress
Stress significantly impacts your emotional state. When you’re stressed, your patience and discipline wane. You feel like the world is collapsing around you, and small things can trigger extreme emotional outbursts and irrational decisions.
Any form of stress can affect your emotional state, so make it a habit to relieve a bit of stress every day. There are many stress-relief activities, like writing, meditating, and exercising. Any of these habits, if practiced regularly, can lower your stress levels, making it easier for you to manage and control your emotions.
Create Opportunities to Express Emotions, Not Suppress Them
Many people lose control of their emotions because they don’t allow themselves to express their true feelings. Especially, men often bottle up emotions and pretend everything is fine until the day their feelings suddenly explode. This is when extreme emotions can harm you and those in your life the most.
For your own sake, don’t let your feelings fester in the corners of your mind. Instead, create opportunities to express your emotions regularly. Write in a journal, talk to a loved one, or sit down with a mental health professional. Make self-expression a normal part of your routine, and you’ll start to understand yourself much better.
Transform Your Emotions
Talking or writing isn’t the only way to express your feelings. You can also channel those emotions into activities like sports or creative hobbies. These activities occupy your mind and direct your energy in ways that bring calmness and clarity.
For example, if you find yourself in a stressful situation, you might try singing out loud. There are countless activities, like singing, that help release your emotions and shift your mood. Find an activity that suits your interests. That way, you can transform your feelings into something beneficial.
Practice Empathy
When you’re angry with someone, try to think about the situation from their perspective. You might feel hurt, but the other person may feel the same way. They could be in a difficult situation or, like you, struggling to understand why they feel the way they do.
In both cases, practicing empathy can soothe extreme emotions and help you find common ground. Even if you’re not truly upset, this is a great habit to expand your emotional intelligence. Practicing empathy challenges you to reflect on your feelings, question your assumptions, and approach every situation with a calm and composed mindset.
Respect Your Feelings
Are you ashamed of your feelings? Too many people avoid taking responsibility for their true emotions because they feel embarrassed or awkward about feeling that way. If someone asks how you’re feeling, you might pretend everything is fine and hide your emotions from the world. But this only deepens your emotional turmoil. When you feel overwhelmed, take responsibility for your feelings because there’s nothing shameful about how you feel.
Understand Your “Boiling Point”
Even if you learn to control your emotions, you may get too frustrated to keep those feelings inside. Some people call this your “boiling point” – the moment just before your emotions overflow and erupt.
If you want to control your emotions, familiarize yourself with your boiling point so you never say or do something you regret. When you feel yourself nearing that edge, remove yourself from the situation and give yourself time to calm down.
Create Your Mantra
Sometimes, when you feel intense emotions, it’s helpful to remind yourself what you’re striving for or how you want to be. A simple mantra or meaningful phrase can help you find perspective and overcome negative emotions like anger or frustration. These feelings may be powerful in the moment, but when you think about what truly matters, it becomes easier to maintain control. It may take some time to come up with a unique and special mantra for yourself. There are many different mantras, but often the most powerful ones are those you create yourself. A few repetitions of this meaningful phrase can reduce stress, bring clarity, and remind you of what truly matters.
The Power of Breath
Many disciplined individuals have developed incredible patience and willpower by using the simple power of breath. You may have heard of breathing exercises to reduce stress or anxiety, but why does breath affect your emotional state?
The first half of the breath, inhaling, affects your sympathetic nervous system, which controls the fight-or-flight response. Pausing to take a deep breath can curb impulsive behavior toward more rational decisions. The second half, exhaling, comes from your parasympathetic nervous system, affecting your ability to relax and calm down. Just exhaling can soothe negative emotions, giving you a sense of calm and control.
Whenever your emotions are swirling, take a deep breath in and out. This simple exercise could be all you need to control your emotions and change your mindset.
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